This post is made possible with support from AARP’s Disrupt Aging. All opinions are my own.
We all hear the same things about becoming parents as we grow older. Things like “Wait until you’re married to have kids,” “Don’t rush to have children, live your life, travel the world, finish your degree,” and “Parenting is hard, are you ready to give up your freedom?”
I know that’s what I heard and quite frankly, I didn’t listen. Instead, I did everything against what I was told, because there was some part of me that felt strongly about “knowing what I was doing.” The truth is, I honestly thought I could do way better than my parents did- and a huge part of me wanted to prove myself right.
When my fiance’ and I became parents, we were just two little love birds living life on a whim. We traveled wherever we wanted, we spent our money freely, and we always had big dreams for ourselves to become recognized for our talents in hopes of becoming millionaires. Dream big or go home, right?
As soon as we became parents, a lot of those ambitions changed. We became victims of our society’s limiting beliefs and were forced to believe that we couldn’t have it all- our kids and successful careers as entrepreneurs…
And we fell for it. We fell into the thought pattern that we had to all of a sudden change and give up on our dreams in order to fit into the mold of being a “responsible parent.” Don’t get me wrong, we tried, but we also failed miserably. After countless amounts of jobs that just didn’t work for our personalities and accumulating massive amounts of debt to cover the bills, we decided that the best thing to do for ourselves- was to do for ourselves.
Meaning, we were trying so hard to fit in and be responsible and falling short anyway; that we decided we could try succeeding at our own talents and getting to a point of freedom that we always dreamt of, with our kids in tow. We want our kids to grow up believing in themselves and their own worth. As parents, we hope to pass on the idea of entrepreneurship and fulfilling your true passions, no matter what obstacles may occur; being that they occur anyway.
Knowing what we know about parenting now, my fiance’ and I would definitely tell our younger selves to never stop dreaming. You can have everything you want if you work hard enough and stay focused. Juggling work and kids is just as tough as it is rewarding, but with the right systems in place, it can be done with grace.
No matter what age you become a parent, you’ll never be fully prepared for it’s challenges. The best part about it, is that we are not alone. There’s help, there’s lots of love that comes from parenting and it’s a great opportunity to learn and continue to grow. I learn something new from my kids everyday! They teach me patience and they also make me realize how strong I truly am, both mentally and emotionally. It’s also beautiful to be able share this experience with the love of my life.
We didn’t wait until after marriage, we didn’t have it all figured out when we found out we were pregnant and two kids later, we still have more growing to do and guess what… that’s ok. We aren’t perfect, no one is. However, we are truly grateful and honored to take on such a huge responsibility. Just like anything in life, it’s all about perspective. Parenting can be scary, or it can be exciting depending on how you choose to perceive it.
Was it all worth it? Yes. Would we change anything? Sure.
If we could change anything, it would be to stay true to ourselves and to continue to believe in our crazy, wildest dreams. You CAN parent, live your dreams, and be successful as long as you never give up. Stay the course!
